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СЦЕНКА 9

 

AFTER THE THEATRE

 

Robert: Well, ¹how did you enjoy the play, Jane?

Jane: Oh, enormously! I thought ²the production was really brilliant, and so was ³the acting.

Robert: If Neilson hadn't been ill, it would have been even better. They say he's wonderful in the part of ⁴the inspector.

Jane: But his understudy was very good too, particularly in the last act. Of course the plot was rather absurd...

Robert: It usually is in detective plays.

Jane: Take the wife, for instance. She didn't behave like a normal human being at all. ⁵If she had only owned up to her husband, he would have settled the whole business ⁶in no time.

Robert: But ⁷she was supposed to be a dumb blonde. And if she hadn't been, there wouldn't have been a plot, would there?

Jane: And you know, there wouldn't have been a second murder if the inspector hadn't told everybody about his plans.

Robert: But then the audience would have had to go home at the end of the first act.

Jane: Then take that episode with the revolver. If he had had any sense, he would have told his wife about the gun instead of trying to hide it.

Robert: It's a pity you didn't write the play, Jane. ⁸If you had, ⁹you would have made a much better job of it. The wife would have confessed to her husband, he would have told the inspector and there wouldn't have been any corpses. A much better play altogether. Not a thriller, of course...

Jane: ¹⁰Stop making fun of me, Robert. I've always been very interested in the theatre. My mother was an actress you know ¹¹if she hadn't given up the stage when she got married, she would have become famous.

Robert: And if you hadn't taken up ¹²shorthand and typing, you would have become a great dramatist, I suppose.

Jane: Well, ¹³as a matter of fact, a sketch I wrote has been performed by our local ¹⁴dramatic society, and I'm working on another ¹⁵right now, for our ¹⁶anniversary celebrations.

Robert: Really, Jane? You must show it to me.

Jane: ¹⁷Not until it's ready. I might send you a ticket for ¹⁸the opening. But only ¹⁹if you behave.

Robert: I'll be very good ²⁰from now on.