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СЦЕНКА 16

 

A PAIR OF SOCKS

 

Salesman: Good morning, sir. What can we do for you¹?

Robert: Good morning. Er... I just wanted a pair of socks.

Salesman: Certainly, sir². I think I may say we have a very fine selection. These nylon ones, for instance. They're Italian; only came in³ this morning.

Robert: Well... I didn't want anything fancy. Just ordinary woolen socks, you know. I'm going on a short walking-tour⁴, so I thought something warm...

Salesman: Walking-tour, sir? Then if you don't mind my saying so, you'll certainly need some of these quick-drying wool-and-nylon socks. They wash beautifully and dry in no time at all⁵. Five and eleven a pair⁶. How many shall I wrap up for you?

Robert: Er... just one pair will do. Those green ones.

Salesman: If you're going on holiday, sir, perhaps you'll be interested in this new line⁷ of trousers? Very popular, they are. You'll find them invaluable when you're out in bad weather.

Robert: Are they crease-resistant⁸?

Salesman: They're crease-resistant, water-repellent⁹ and fade-proof¹⁰. You'll have to have a pair if you're going on holiday, sir. Only forty-nine and six¹¹ - a real bargain¹².

Robert: Er... Well, perhaps...

Salesman: The blue ones? Very good, sir, I'll just measure you: waist thirty¹³, inside-leg¹⁴ thirty-one. Very good, sir.

Robert: But I've only got a five-pound note¹⁵. Can you change it?

Salesman: Oh, that'll be no trouble. I'll just have it sent up to the cashier's department¹⁶. It won't take a moment¹⁷. Take a seat, sir, while you're waiting. Haha, sir, I see you're looking at that yellow cashmere pullover. The last one, that is, and it happens to be your size¹⁸, sir. You'll need something to keep you warm on a walking-tour. You'll feel a different man when you put it on.

Robert: It certainly looks nice and warm. But won't it get dirty rather quickly?

Salesman: Well, of course, sir, all light colours show the dirt. But you'll find this washes like a dream¹⁹. Just use a spoonful of our special washing-powder. Two and six a packet. I'll wrap up a couple of packets with the pullover.

 

You'll feel a different man when you put it on

Robert: But won't it shrink?

Salesman: Shrink, sir? We've sold dozens of these pullovers and haven't had a single complaint. If it shrinks, sir, we'll give you your money back.

Robert: All right. I'll take it. You can wrap up everything in one parcel.

Salesman: Let me see: sосks, trousers, pullover. Here we are, sir. Here's your parcel.

Robert: And my change?

Salesman: Change, sir? I'm afraid there's some mistake²⁰. Here's the bill, sir. Eight pounds, sixteen shillings and fourpence. Another three pounds, sixteen shillings and fourpence to come²¹.

 

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